he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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