I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I checked into jail on foursquare
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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