Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S