Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.

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  (503): You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living. http://tfl.nu/kso8
  Replies (14) Good night (2693) Bad night (650)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with

  (217): View more from Illinois

  well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment

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  (610): thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with (217): well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment http://tfl.nu/vbkf
  Replies (23) Good night (1584) Bad night (2494)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Why does Jon Cryer have a career?

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  That is a good question.

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  (860): Why does Jon Cryer have a career? (1-860): That is a good question. http://tfl.nu/v28q
  Replies (14) Good night (1339) Bad night (757)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to

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  (604): her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to http://tfl.nu/r2n2
  Replies (25) Good night (580) Bad night (3539)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.

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  (516): Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter. http://tfl.nu/yfry
  Replies (74) Good night (733) Bad night (6524)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.

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  (210): Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened. http://tfl.nu/7jhi
  Replies (14) Good night (3339) Bad night (1719)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in

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  (614): Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in http://tfl.nu/9ss7
  Replies (14) Good night (3552) Bad night (811)
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  (739): View more from

  The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.

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  (739): The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/v9ao
  Replies (13) Good night (3406) Bad night (656)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.

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  (905): Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today. http://tfl.nu/u9so
  Replies (37) Good night (1288) Bad night (2966)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?

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  (509): I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood. (609): That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do? http://tfl.nu/arvc
  Replies (7) Good night (1726) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"

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  (512): Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!" http://tfl.nu/rhjr
  Replies (1) Good night (843) Bad night (477)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.

  (1-504): View more from Louisiana

  Oh shit. This is getting real.

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  (504): Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning. (1-504): Oh shit. This is getting real. http://tfl.nu/zlj3
  Replies (8) Good night (1297) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.

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  (810): My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore. http://tfl.nu/n09d
  Replies (2) Good night (391) Bad night (336)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?

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  (501): Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site? http://tfl.nu/wzkj
  Replies (47) Good night (1102) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off

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  (807): I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off http://tfl.nu/3ozb
  Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (266)

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