I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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