It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
its liver damage thursday
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