very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
