Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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