He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize