I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
