Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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