it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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