Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
time to smoke my breakfast
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
