Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
