Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
