Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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