I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
