i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
