I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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