Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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