Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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