she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
