conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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