I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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