there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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