I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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