i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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