She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize