OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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