why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
