there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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