I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
