Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She's the barista slut.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
