sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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