I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
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