forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
