2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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