Sponge bath it is.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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