There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish life had little blips of pornography
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
