Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
