I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
