Non-Jews are for practice
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
