you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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