We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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