I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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