I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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