I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
