I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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