how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
