You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think pants incapable of making pants work
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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