youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
