Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
