she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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