I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
