i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
