Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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