im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You made out with two different species that night
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
