Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I can't turn off my feet"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
