is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
