I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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