turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Someone signed my nipple.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize